Why Your Notes Look Perfect But Get Zero Engagement

The One Tool Every Substack Writer Needs

In May, I had a crisis.

I built a bunch of amazing AI tools—and people LOVED them..

But some users were not seeing any increase in likes on their Notes.

And that sent me down a rabbit hole the size of the one in Godzilla vs. Kong that leads to the center of the earth. 😅

It really got me thinking..

• “Their Notes are well-structured”

• “They have ALL the elements of viral posts.”

• “What am I missing, here?”

Then the answer hit me like a Godzilla punch.

If the underlying Note idea isn’t interesting, or different, it doesn’t matter how “dressed up” it is.

In an instant I realized there was a gaping hole in my Writing Long Game Lab. I didn’t need more tools to help people write better..

I needed more tools to help them build a distinct brand, and help them stand out BEFORE they write a word.

The tool I developed to fix this problem is, in my opinion, the most helpful one I’ve ever built by a mile.

I call it The Notes Strategist.

The NoteSmith is flashy. It makes your Notes look damn good—like putting on a beautiful dress.

But The Notes Strategist is like going through a 12-week transformation, dropping 20 pounds, and realizing you look better in a t-shirt than someone else in designer clothes.

Understand the difference?

Good. Let’s talk more about what it does.

What The Notes Strategist Does

In short: it studies your Notes like a writing coach—then builds you a step-by-step playbook to help you stand out and start dominating Notes!

All you have to do is upload a csv, or doc of your Notes, and then…

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1. It analyzes your entire Note history
   It compares your Notes to what’s actually going viral right now. Are you too long-winded? Missing emotional punch? Ending too soft? You’ll get specific feedback on why your Notes might be flopping — or why they’re 80% of the way there.

2. It identifies your target reader
   It looks at your tone, topics, and emotional themes to figure out who you’re really writing for — even if you didn’t know yet. “You write for spiritual creatives in burnout recovery” type of stuff. Like a niche whisperer.

3. It gives you a creative archetype
   You’ll get a name like The Existential Comedian, The Mirror, or The Punchline Dodger — based on your style, patterns, and strengths. Along with a growth mantra. People LOVE this part.

4. It tells you exactly which Note formats to try
   No more guessing if you should write lists, punchy one-liners, or little micro-stories. The Strategist recommends 2–3 formats tailored to your strengths — and explains why.

5. It gives you 30 custom prompts to write from
   Literally 30 Substack Note prompts based on your archetype and audience. Customized! Emotionally sharp. Built to hook readers. You’ll never stare at a blank screen again.

6. It gives you viral templates to plug your ideas into
   You’ll walk away with your own personal Note-writing strategy, format guidance, and plug-and-play templates. It’s like having a whole content engine pre-built in your voice.

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That’s the Strategist.

It helps you get clear on who you are, who you’re writing for, and what kind of Notes will grow your audience — before you even write a single word.

It’s the closest thing to a “writing coach in a box” I have ever built.

If you want to use it now, become a paid subscriber.

You Can Actually Talk To It, Too

One of the coolest things about this tool is, you can talk to it. You can go off script. It’s designed to go through 6 steps to give you your archetype, and 30 prompts, and target reader…

But you can stop it at any time and get it to..

1. Give you 30 more prompts. Or 60! Or 100!

2. Give you a 2,000 word report on who your target reader is.

3. Explain 5-10 additional Notes mistakes you could be making.

The possibilities are endless.

It’s like being able to talk to me about your Notes strategy WHENEVER YA FREAKIN WANT.

This isn’t just a Notes Coach. It’s clarity, hope, and strategy in a box.

Example Archetypes

Here are a couple examples of Notes Archetypes that paid subscribers got..

“This is super fun!” said

Nick Simard

after getting this archetype:

Here’s

Yolanda E. S. Miller

’s! She said “omigerd, you tapped into the primal horoscope instinct, tom!! here's mine!!”

Ana-Maria Janes

raved about the Notes Strategist on Monday!

“I just went through the Substack Note Strategist — mind blown — Tom, you are a genius. I'll be leaning on the advice from the SNS for the 21 day challenge and have some fun with it! I can't believe how detailed it is! A big thank you for putting all this together. And I love my Notes Archetype. It's The Mystical Wayfinder.”

The FULL Notes Strategist is only available for paid subscribers. But if you want to get your own Notes Archetype, and a quick breakdown of what you're doing well, you can go to my trial website, trial.tomkuegler.com, and test out the Lite version.

Just upload a csv, word document, or XLSX file with at least 15-20 Notes, and the full Note text for each one, and it will give you your own Archetype.

How I Built It

I built the Notes Strategist, and the NoteSmith 2.0, by analyzing 80+ viral Notes in all 29 Note categories to find common patterns.

And they’re Notes that are going viral RIGHT NOW.

Not 3 months ago. Not a year ago. NOW!

I figured out how people typically stand out on Notes, and built that philosophy into the prompt engine that gives you 30 prompts. I distilled 80 viral Notes into 5 common viral note templates, and those are the templates you’ll get at the end of the analysis.

The Notes Strategist is built off how people stand out on Notes right now, and it will 100% give you a massive edge moving forward.

Get the Full Strategy Now

You can get your free archetype and breakdown of what you’re doing good and bad on Notes here.

But the full report? 30 custom prompts? Templates? You’ll need the paid plan.

It’s A $500-Per-Hour Writing Coach For A Fraction Of The Cost

This isn’t just “another tool” I made.

It represents a massive shift in the creator economy.

You no longer need to pay thousands of dollars to get great writing strategy. Now you can get premium strategy for an entire year for just $160. It’s insane.

AI has changed the game COMPLETELY.

If you don’t believe me, try it out.

And if you don’t want to get left in the dust while everyone else takes advantage of the wave, become a paid subscriber right now.

Thanks for reading,

Tom Kuegler